Laughter Sh!t

This week’s topic was laughter. More specifically, the new scientific evidence of the positive effect of shared laughter in sustaining relationships. Do you look for a good sense of humor when selecting a potential mate? It was always important to me—I can honestly say that I have never dated anyone who was not funny. My husband borders on the low end of passing in this regard but his humor is adequate, I suppose.

Honestly, this is going to be a short blog because there isn’t much for me to learn/muse on this topic. Our relationship has always been far from serious. One of our favorite things to do is stay in bed and laugh, sometimes for hours. I really recommend looking at the articles that we discussed. The importance of humor in one’s lifetime cannot be overemphasized. If you have not had the pleasure of having laughter be a staple of your relationship, I highly recommend you go get yourself a belly full of laughter.

Cooking Sh!t

This week’s topic was cooking together. As I’m sure you’ve heard us say over the years, the kitchen is my husband’s least favorite room in our home. This is really weird because he is actually an excellent cook with some brilliant ideas for telling “a flavor story,” as he calls it. I always enjoy it when he prepares a meal for us.

Cooking together is an incredibly easy way to bond with your partner, regardless of how long you have been together. So what can I do to create more opportunities for us to do just that? Maybe I could begin with one day a week. Starting small often helps make things more attainable. Marko and I could make a fun project of it: we could research and discover a new dish and pick a specific night each week to cook it. I used to do something similar before I met him and I enjoyed it. I’m sure it will just be that much better with him. Let’s find out!

Perfection Sh!t

This weeks topic was perfectionism. I did not need an article to know that I suffer from perfectionism on an almost daily basis. And the pressure of that is bad enough on oneself. But it is far worse on those close to the perfectionist. I think, knowing that, is about the only hope I have to overcome it.

I don’t like hurting other people. So I had to take an honest look at what my perfectionism was doing to my marriage. And honestly, I didn’t like what I saw. Being unable to see the positive, concrete things that my husband was doing because they didn’t look a certain way; or not hearing words because the sentence structure didn’t fit what I was used to hearing (and therefore assuming it was LESS THAN what I needed or deserved); these were very hard truths.

I could beat myself up for this. That would be easy. Or I could do the harder thing and try to be aware of when I was giving in to my shortcomings. Perhaps that is what I will take away from this week: how can I expect my partner to be perfect when I come into the room with so many imperfections? Shit, I been doing it wrong this whole time. Best to make a change.